April 5 (Day 3): Step by Step

Spent the day cancelling stuff: social security, car insurance, driver license. Can’t help but feel that with each cancellation, Barbara is a little more distant from this world. She continues to fade even after she has left us. I’m sitting here on hold, waiting for the TIAA folks to pick up the phone.

In cleaning up the house, I came across the little pile of clothing that was the last regular clothing she ever wore; after that she was always in her pajamas. Made me want to cry; what had been her clothing has now become relics of her life.

There should be blaring trumpets, fiery letters in the sky, upheavals in the earth to announce the passing of such a noble, brave spirit.

Instead, I fold her final outfit and place it in the laundry and continue cancelling her legal ties with the land of the living.

Step by step she leaves us even after she has left.